AD SPACE

Microsoft to sell Ad space in error messages
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.
"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a "general protection fault" or "Illegal operation" warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director.
The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.

TROUBLING END

One of Microsoft's finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

TECHNICALLY CORRECT

A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign and held it up in the helicopter window.The pilot's sign said, "Where am I?" in large letters.The people in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it to the window of their building.Their sign read, "You are in a helicopter."The pilot smiled, waved, looked at the map, determined the course to steer to the SEATAC airport and landed safely.After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "You are in a helicopter" sign helped determine their position.The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer!"